


If You Insist

by rules_is_endgame



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rules_is_endgame/pseuds/rules_is_endgame
Summary: She could live without her, but she doesn't want to.
Relationships: Rue Bennett & Jules Vaughn, Rue Bennett/Jules Vaughn
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	1. On the Pavement

Rue’s eyes opened to see the dark pavement. Her body felt cold and still. Her brain felt empty. Like the first few seconds when you wake up in the morning, before you remember who you are, everything that’s going on in your life, before reality hits you. 

As her eyes fixed themselves on the grooves of the road, black lace up boots approached. Rue looked up. It took her a moment to match the slender blonde silhouette with a name. Then it clicked. Jules.

“Rue, why are you on the ground?” Jules looked different. Her dark strands of hair framing her pale face, covered with mascara that had run from her lashes down to her cheeks. She was out of breath, like she had been running.

Rue glanced over at her phone, trying to gauge wait time it was. 12:53 flashed on her screen. The train ticket in her pocket was for 11:15. Underneath the time, Rue checked the notifications.

Missed Call: Jules (3)  
Voicemail: Jules (2)

Jules: I can’t do this.  
Delivered 11:21

Jules: I don’t want to do this Rue.  
Delivered 11:24

Jules: I’m coming home. Can I come over?  
Delivered 11:37

Missed Call: Jules (3)  
Voicemail: Jules

Jules: Please don’t be mad. I love you.  
Delivered 11:38

Jules: I love you so much my heart hurts.  
Delivered 11:39

Missed Call: Jules (5)  
Missed Facetime Call: Jules (2)

Jules looked at Rue, her pupils had swallowed the light brown borders. Jules knew that Rue was high, but she felt too much guilt to say anything about it. She lowered herself onto the ground next to Rue, crossing her legs and letting her hands rest on the pavement.

“I don’t know what to say right now” Jules whispered, her body sunk in, the feelings of shame, fear, and anger settling in. Rue’s eyes focused on hers, waiting for her to say more. Rue’s brain felt foggy still, barely remembering what had happened to cause her to find herself in the middle of the road halfway down the block from her house.

“Rue, as soon as the doors closed, I knew I had fucked up. By the time I got to the first stop, I had convinced myself that I could live without you. That I would be fine, I could even be happy without you.” Rue felt her heart stop, and a tear ran down her face.

“But then I got to the second stop, and I realized that yeah, I could live without you, but I don’t want to. I didn’t want to go to the city anymore Rue. I hate this damn town, but I didn’t want to be without you for another day.” Rue still didn’t have the energy to form words, but her hand slid over to Jules’, interlacing their fingers together. She squeezed her hand lightly, letting her know that she heard her.

“I’m so sorry. I was just so scared. I still am. Rue I’m so scared to love you because I’m scared of the day when you realize that I’m not what you want. It doesn’t make sense, but I guess I was just trying to run away from you before you could run away from me. I don’t want a life that doesn’t have you in it Rue.”  
Jules felt like she was running out of air. All the words just kept spilling out, she couldn’t contain it anymore.

Rue sat up and breathed in heavily, Jules’ words suddenly sobering her.

“Jules, I don’t want to run away from you. I don’t want to stop loving you. I don’t want to be happy without you. I want you. I want all of you, even the messy parts, the highs, the lows, I’m here for it all.” Jules felt her breath slowing, and closed her eyes.

“Are you mad at me?” Jules wasn’t sure she even wanted the answer. She wanted to stay right here, in the perfect bubble she had created.

“I told you. There’s absolutely nothing you could do to ever make me hate you”

“Not even leave you at a train station and let you go home and relapse?” Jules said, slightly sarcastically, but equally serious.

“Nope.” Rue smiled. “Let’s go home, I think we’ve had enough adventures for tonight.”

Rue and Jules walked down the road to Rue’s house, hands still linked together. They didn’t need to say anything else. It was over, they were okay. They knew they had both made mistakes, and that they were both forgiven.

Rue fiddled with her keys before settling on the gold tinted key that unlocked her door. The house was empty and quiet. Rue didn’t even know how her brain had managed to lock the door before stumbling down the street. Jules flipped on the lightswitch in the kitchen. Rue’s mom had picked up a night shift, and Gia was at her friend Emma’s. Rue was supposed to be spending the night at Jules’ house, and her mom didn’t want to leave Gia alone.

“You should eat something.” Jules said, before pouring a glass of water and handing it to Rue. She quickly scrounged through the Bennett's panty, her hands had memorized where certain things were from the afternoons she spent there, and the mornings after waking up next to Rue. She grabbed some cereal and poured it for Rue, setting it on the counter. She leaned over the counter to where Rue was sitting and kissed her forehead.

“I love you.” Rue said quietly.

“I love you so much more” Jules replied. Their lips met for a brief moment before Jules pulled away.

“Wait-” Rue said. She didn’t want it to be over so soon.

“Stay here, I’m gonna start the shower. You were out in the cold for way too long”.

Rue loved when Jules did things like this. The little things that showed her how much she cared about her. She couldn’t help but smile while she ate the cereal. She heard Jules humming from the other room as she turned on the shower. Rue tried her best, but she couldn’t make out what song it was. Screw this, she thought. She quickly rose from her seat at the counter and made her way to the bathroom where she found Jules setting Rue’s favorite pajamas on the counter, so that they’d be ready when she was done showering.

Rue snuck up behind Jules and kissed her neck. Jules giggled. Rue kissed harder, gently sucking on Jules neck

“Wanna come with me?” Rue muttered between kisses.

“What?” Jules asked as Rue moved her lips from Jules’ neck to her shoulder.

“To the shower” Rue replied casually.

Jules was shocked by this. Rue was almost never the one to make advances, other than their awkward first kiss in Jules bedroom which she hadn’t even reciprocated, Jules was always the one to initiate kisses. Jules smiled at her Rue in the mirror they faced. 

“If you insist”


	2. That Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: slight sexual content, that's pretty much it, pretty pg-13 this chapter, i can't say the same for the next

The water was hot running down Rue’s back. She had always been a cold shower kind of person, it made her feel awake, fresh, new. Jules however, was not a cold shower kind of person. As Rue was quickly discovering, Jules was a water-so-hot-that-it-makes-my-skin-numb kind of person. To be completely honest though, Rue really didn’t care about the water, because the curtain opened and Jules Fucking Vaughn was hopping in with her.

“Hey” Jules said, a shy smile running across her face as she shut the curtain.

“Hey” Rue mimicked. She was so nervous that she couldn’t come up with anything else to say. Had this really been her idea? This wasn’t like Rue. To be so spontaneous and adventurous and new. Sure, she had done crazy things, but they were always calculated, thought through fully. Not this.

“Why are your eyes closed?” Jules laughed. To be honest, Rue hadn’t noticed. That’s how completely stunned she was by this interaction, she didn’t even realize that she wasn’t seeing it.

“I might be a little bit nervous” Rue stated, “This is new for us.”

Jules smiled, and instantly Rue felt her anxieties disperse, flooding down the drain along with the water

“I know. I like new” Jules said as she swapped positions with Rue, allowing her back to be hit by the steam instead of Rue’s. Jules twirled one of Rue’s curls in her hand, and then let it fall down her back. Rue looked over her shoulder and Jules, deep into her eyes.

“There’s no one in the whole world like you Vaughn.” Jules laughed. Her arms slipped from Rue’s back, around to her stomach, interlocking in the front. Jules could feel Rue’s body relax into

Rue turned around and kissed Jules, hard. Jules felt butterflies from her throat down to her knees, but she felt like that every time Rue kissed her, the first kiss feeling had never gone away. Jules sighed into the kiss, never wanting it to end. She grabbed the back of Rue’s head to pull her closer, and could feel Rue smile while their lips were still together.

It was the cute little smile that Rue always did. It made Jules smile in return. That was a given with Rue, though. Her smile was so contagious that no matter how angry you were at her, Jules had told Rue that before, and she was pretty sure that Rue did that goofy little smile even more now, just to make Jules melt.

Rue moved her lips down from Jules’, down to her collarbone, kissing her way gently down in neck along the way. When Rue reached her collarbone, Jules felt her suck on it. That’s gonna leave a mark, she thought. She laughed a little out loud, but was interrupted by Rue biting her lightly, almost exactly like Jules had done to her mere hours earlier.

Rue thought that she was giving off a confident demeanor, but that was a stark contrast to what was going on inside her head.

Sure, her and Jules had kissed before like this. The night after the carnival, they could barely stop themselves. Rue could have sworn they kissed for hours. But this was different. Maybe it was because Jules was naked in front of her, maybe it was because they both knew where this was headed, and they were both ready for it, but these kisses were intoxicating. This was a different kind of high, the kind where you don’t have to worry about the repercussions. 

Jules pushed their bodies closer together. There was no space between them anymore. Rue gasped slightly. Jules let her hands wander down Rue’s body.

Jules heard a murmur from Rue.

“Hmm?” Jules mumbled back with her lips on Rue’s neck.

“Not here” Rue whispered. She really wanted it, and if it wasn’t Jules she might have let it happen right there right then. But it was Jules, and this wasn’t how she wanted their first time to happen. Rue had a picture in her head of how she wanted it to happen, she thought about it sometimes at night after Jules had gone home. That picture did not involve slipping in the shower.

“My room. Now.” She whimpered. Jules whipped around and turned the water off. They wrapped themselves up in the towels Jules had picked out.

Jules had to stop herself from running to Rue’s room. Rue caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she left the bathroom. That goofy smile could be seen from a mile away.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! I hope you liked! I'm still emotionally hungover from Euphoria and now that season 2 is delayed I had to write something to make my heart stop hurting lol. Writing chapter 2 as we speak!


End file.
